What to Do if You Feel Unsafe on a Date

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Dating can be an exciting way to meet new people and potentially find a romantic partner, but it’s crucial to prioritize your safety at all times. Feeling unsafe on a date can be a distressing experience, and knowing how to handle such situations is essential. Whether it’s an uncomfortable vibe, unwanted advances, or something more serious, having a plan can help you protect yourself and exit the situation safely.

This blog provides practical advice on what to do if you feel unsafe on a date, ensuring you can take swift and effective action to prioritize your well-being.

1. Trust Your Instincts

  • Listen to your gut feelings. If something feels off or makes you uncomfortable, trust your instincts.
  • Don’t ignore red flags or warning signs, even if they seem minor.
  • Your intuition is a powerful tool for recognizing potential danger and protecting yourself.
  • It’s okay to prioritize your safety and well-being over the potential for a new relationship.
  • Trusting your instincts can help you take proactive steps to stay safe.

2. Plan an Exit Strategy

  • Before the date, think of a few excuses you can use to leave early if you feel unsafe.
  • Arrange a pre-planned phone call with a friend that can serve as an excuse to leave if needed.
  • Identify safe locations nearby, such as a friend’s house or a 24-hour café, where you can go if you need a safe place to regroup.
  • Have a backup transportation plan in case of any unexpected issues, such as extra cash for a taxi or a rideshare app.
  • Knowing how you will leave and where you can go provides a sense of security.

3. Use a Safety App

  • Download a safety app like Noonlight, bSafe, or Circle of 6 that allows you to quickly alert friends or authorities if you feel unsafe.
  • Familiarize yourself with the app’s features and how to use them before the date.
  • Some apps offer features like location sharing, emergency alerts, and fake calls to help you exit uncomfortable situations.
  • Ensure your phone is fully charged before the date to use the app if necessary.
  • Safety apps can provide an extra layer of security and peace of mind.

4. Communicate Clearly

  • If your date’s behavior makes you uncomfortable, be direct and assertive in communicating your feelings.
  • Use clear language like, “I don’t feel comfortable with this,” or “Please stop, I don’t like that.”
  • Maintain a firm and confident tone to convey that you are serious about your boundaries.
  • Avoid apologizing for asserting your boundaries; you have the right to feel safe and respected.
  • Clear communication can deter further unwanted behavior and reinforce your limits.

5. Move to a Safer Location

  • If you feel unsafe at your current location, try to move to a safer area with more people around.
  • Excuse yourself to use the restroom or make a phone call to create a break in the interaction.
  • Consider relocating to a different part of the venue where you feel more secure.
  • Physical distance can help de-escalate the situation and give you time to reassess your next steps.
  • If necessary, leave the venue entirely and go to a predetermined safe place.

6. Seek Help from Others

  • If you feel threatened, seek help from people around you, such as staff or patrons at the venue.
  • Use a prearranged signal with friends or staff if you need assistance without drawing attention.
  • Don’t hesitate to call a friend or family member to come and pick you up if you need to leave immediately.
  • Public places often have security personnel who can assist if the situation escalates.
  • Seeking help from others can provide immediate support and ensure your safety.

7. Keep Your Phone Accessible

  • Ensure your phone is fully charged and easily accessible throughout the date.
  • Save emergency contacts and local emergency numbers for quick access if needed.
  • Consider setting up speed dial for a trusted friend or family member.
  • Use location-sharing apps to let a trusted person know your whereabouts during the date.
  • Having your phone ready can help you quickly reach out for help if necessary.

8. Avoid Excessive Alcohol Consumption

  • Limit your alcohol intake to stay aware and in control of your surroundings and actions.
  • If you choose to drink, never leave your drink unattended or accept drinks from someone you don’t trust.
  • Drink water or non-alcoholic beverages if you prefer to avoid alcohol altogether.
  • Be aware of how much your date is drinking and watch for any signs of inappropriate behavior.
  • Staying sober helps you make clear-headed decisions and respond effectively to any situations that may arise.

9. Document the Incident

  • If your date’s behavior crosses the line into harassment or assault, document the incident as soon as possible.
  • Write down details such as what happened, when and where it occurred, and any witnesses present.
  • Save any relevant messages or communication that might support your account of the incident.
  • Documentation can be useful if you decide to report the incident to authorities or the dating app.
  • Taking notes helps ensure that you have an accurate record of the events.

10. Report to the Dating Platform

  • If your date’s behavior violates the terms of service of the dating platform, report them to the app or website.
  • Provide as much detail as possible about the incident to help the platform take appropriate action.
  • Reporting unwanted advances or unsafe behavior helps protect other users and can lead to the person being banned from the platform.
  • Most dating platforms have mechanisms in place to handle reports of harassment or inappropriate behavior.
  • Reporting the incident contributes to creating a safer online dating community.

Feeling unsafe on a date can be a distressing experience, but knowing how to handle such situations can help you protect yourself and prioritize your safety. By following these tips, you can take swift and effective action to exit uncomfortable situations and ensure your well-being. Remember, your safety is paramount, and taking proactive steps can help you navigate dating with confidence and peace of mind.


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